Coffee Microdosing

2024-10-25

Disclaimer: No, I'm not an addict. This was done purely for the sake of experimentation.

I recently had a theory that, in a similar way to other psychoactive drugs, one could gain further benefits from coffee by microdosing. This theory stood on the fact that caffeine works by blocking adenosine receptors for a short period of time due to their similar chemical makeup. Thus, would microdosing increase this period of wakefulness by spacing apart caffeine intake?

When trying to "really go at it" with coffee, most people (myself included) typically gulp down a really large amount of coffee in a short period of time - they are taking the whole dosage at once. This works just fine and is a breakfast staple of the average college student and/or worker. A large reservoir of caffeine to last you for a while at a minimal caloric cost. Everyone's happy!

However, I always wondered if there was a better way. Steaming hot or cold-brewed? Pinch of salt or not? Drink it while still tired or only once fully awake? These were the questions that kept me up at night. Or maybe it was just the caffeine.

I decided to give this theory of mine a run by using an all-time classic: the automatic drip-brew, otherwise known as an electric coffeemaker. I ground up (manually, if I may add) some Cuban dark roast and used quite a respectable amount of it for around 6-7 cups worth of coffee. To prevent it from going cold while microdosing, I quickly moved the coffee (and a little bit of sugar) onto a thermos. This would keep the coffee at a proper drinking temperature for the next 5 hours or so.

Having abstained from drinking coffee for at least 18 hours up to that point, I took the first half-cup right there. It was good coffee. Nothing out of this world. Acceptable. After around 15 minutes later I began to feel the usual effects of coffee, if quite "muted" down. It was just a half-cup, after all.

I would like to note that, while conducting this experiment, I was informed by a friend that their father has utilized and vouched for this same technique for quite a long time. At least I can say I got one piece of peer-reviewed approval.

After this, I began to ingest the same dosage (one half-cup (better described as the lid of my thermos)) every 15-20 minutes. I would compare this to a lesser form of chain-smoking, at least going by the way chain-smoking has been described to me by others. As soon as I felt myself falling back down from the small "high" the last dosage of caffeine gave me, I would take another one. Drink and repeat.

After 4 hours I had drank 70-80% of the thermos. If I'm honest, I had expected the results to be a bit more grandiose than what they turned out to be. My heart-rate remained relatively calm, and I didn't experience any more shivers or chills than what I do on a regular, non-caffeinated basis. I suppose most of this could be chalked up to my high caffeine tolerance, but I digress.

What I did experience was a sort of... calm state of vigilance. I didn't feel more awake than before, but I didn't feel tired either. I did a bit of reading, I did a bit of writing (and still am), and I did a bit of coding. Nothing particularly mentally or physically demanding. I felt much less jumpy than when drinking my usual large caffeine dosages.

Sadly, after the 6th dosage, the effects caffeine had on my body began to decline. As opposed to my hypothesis, microdosing caffeine didn't result in exponential returns, but in logarithmic ones. My best guess is that the low amounts of caffeine simply weren't able to keep up with the adenosine produced by my body.

After the 10th cup, I might as well have been drinking tea. I decided to put a stop to the experiment as I'd rather not invite in coffee's laxative effects. As expected, all the previously blocked adenosine came rushing in towards my brain and I was hit with a wave of tiredness.

Does this mean the experiment was a failure? Yes, and no. While I certainly didn't get the results I was expecting, I also discovered a more "low-key" state of coffee drinking for extended periods of non-anxious wakefulness. Would I do this again? Mostly likely not, as I don't think the time investment required to track down your caffeine dosages is worth the return.

Should you try this at home? Hard no. Most people will likely just get pretty sick from drinking such a large amount of coffee even if spaced out. I did this knowing what my own caffeine limits are.

Will I further experiment with coffee? Perhaps. I always wanted to know if there were any benefits to brewing coffee with coffee (I would like to reiterate that I am not an addict).

Thanks for taking the time to read this... thing. As for myself, I'll be going to sleep. No amount of coffee can outrun bedtime forever.